Techno Destructo & Bozo Destructo :
(aka: gay-bot, transformer-ass wannabe)
Arch enemie of GWAR: Served with GWAR in the Masters 3rd Scumdog Legion. Used to be
two cyborgs sharing the same name, but has since split into two personalities: Techno Destucto
and Bozo Destructo (played by Don Drakulitch aka "Sleazy"). Hell-bent on forcing GWAR to
become good guys, but they usually end up kicking the shit out if each other instead: trying to
decide who has the Masters permission to destroy GWAR! They drink Multi-Lube, jerk off to
Popular Mechanic and come from way past Uranus. Techno is armed with a huge mechanical
claw while Bozo attacks with what seems to be a giant meat tenderizer.
After the two split, Techno became even more obsessed with power. He confronted GWAR
and made them an offer: He suggested they team up and take over the universe. When GWAR
refused, Techno decided if they shall die. After a long battle, Techno was finally disarmed and
was forced to become a slave to GWAR.
THE MORALITY SQUAD :
A couple of years ago an organization was formed that is more dangerous then all of the
enemies above: The Morality Squad. The sole purpose of this group is to rid the world of
Edna P. Granbo :
Leader and founder of The Morality Squad. She is a former PMRC member who got fed up
with the filthy music put out by GWAR. She even went so far as to coat the cover of
"Scumdogs of the Universe" with mind altering drugs, so we wouldn't get the full effect of the
music. Used to be seen on crutches but now is confined to "the wheelchair of death." Died a
horrible death, getting the skin ripped right off her body after having her wrinkled tits sucked by
Father Bohab :
A typical priest - Out to get GWAR ever since they exposed him for the child-molester that he
is. Last seen getting his cross shoved up his ass and spanked with the bible (I think he liked it).
Superhero grandson of the hideous Granbo. Dressed in his Captain America uniform, he is the
one who stole the Cuttlefish from between the legs of Oderus in "Phallus in Wonderland." Filled
with muscles, but they can be a drawback too, as they are easily ripped right off the chest. He is
always accompanied by..........
Private Parts :
First seen giving Corporal Punishment a blowjob, last seen getting thrown off a kyscraper by
two GWAR slaves. This little pecker might look small but he sure gave Beefcake a good run for
Mutated nephew of Granbo. A nuclear mutation of two men, this guy packs a powerful punch.
He has a weak spot though - he can be sliced right down the middle, but then you'll have to fight
two of them.
Dr. D.Bill.Adated :
The Morality Squads own mad scientist. He created Tiny to take care of GWAR. Needless to
say, his plan failed. Tiny was destroyed and the doctor got his face squashed in. It seems that he
acquired the crutches once used by Granbo. These crutches, when pulled back, release a
dangerous collection of spikes into its victims face.
Trained The Morality Squad in combat so they wouldn't be defenceless when going up against
GWAR. No special powers, but he packs a dangerous gun collection.
In the basement of the temple of GWAR, the slaves found something that appeared to be a
dinosaur egg. Slymenstra attempted to nuture the egg, but the other GWARriors had their way
and fed him with dead babies and shot him up with crack. The enraged baby tyrannosaur burst
forth from the egg and bit off a slave's hand, then escaped form the temple "to spread disease
and hatred to an unknowing world." Oderus claims to be the father of the child, although
Slymenstra refutes this. A full grown Gor-Gor later returned to destroy a city and fight GWAR,
only to have a sword stuck through his head by Oderus. Techno Destructo later found Gor-Gor
and resurrected him as the Cybernetic Gor Borg and tried to use him to fight GWAR again, only
to have his creation turned against him.
Once the beautiful queen matriarch of a peaceful vegetarian planet, she was transformed into
Skulhedface by Cardinal Syn and his holy warriors when they invaded her planet. Skulhed was
sent to Earth by Syn to subjugate the developing world and harvest the Jizmogloben from its
inhabitants, preparing the world for Syn's planned invasion. Throughout the centuries, Skulhed
instigated wars to advance earth's technologies until the world was ready for domination.
However, instead of saving the Jizmogloben for Syn, Skulhed became addicted to it and its
power, and secretly began plotting to overthrow Syn by using the powerful Jizmogloben of
GWAR. Skulhed used his assistant Flopsy and his creation The Flesh Colum to defeat GWAR
and rob them of their Jizmogloben using a contraption called the Homogenizer. GWAR
managed to trick Skulhed into giving them their Jiz back, and then proceded to rape her to
FLESH COLUM(Skulheadface) :
Skulheadface's giant monstrosity, pieced together from the bodies of the most horrible humans of
all time, was his secret weapon in his fight against GWAR. With an appropriately named
cock-pit, a turd throwing butt- cannon, a bile-spewing penis-like extension with the head of
Adolf Hitler, and more body parts than Jeffery Dahmer's apartment, the Flesh Colum made
short work of GWAR, leaving them defeated for Skulhed's nefarious schemes.
A.k.a. the Cunt-Faced Boy, Skulhed's faithful assistant. Using his deformed face, he seduced
and lured Beefcake into the lair of Skulhed, who then proceeded to cut off Beefcake's face and
use it as a trap for the rest of GWAR. As GWAR was getting their asses kicked, Flopsy (who
was genuinely enamored with Beefcake) was coerced into giving Beef his face back and setting
him free. Beefcake then proceeded to fist-fuck Flopsy's face, which was more than the poor lad
CARDIDAL SYN :
In the year 1999 the comet Ragnarok is believed to be approaching and the end of the world is
near. As the earth prepares for its end, we find out that it is actually Cardinal Syn coming to
enslave our world. The giant holy robot and his followers fight GWAR and after he meets his
defeat, we find that inside his massive robotic body is the alien mutant monster baby, whose
soul was used to power the robot.
1 Grey aliens came down and stole sperm from Oderus Urungus and put in into Slymenstra, she
then got pregant and GWAR gave her a onstage abortion, the aliens then tryed to buy the world
from sleazy but he just took there gold chain and blew their heads off and hacked them up
Redneck from Hell:
Big, fat, beer-bellied, balding redneck who carries a shotgun. But why is he after GWAR? Well,
it seems that Oderus stole his girlfriend/daughter/wife/mother (incest y'know). Well since then he
follows GWAR from show to show and sometimes jumps up on stage, trying to blow away
poor Oderus. But fear not, the last time I seen him, Oderus chopped off the top of his head and
ripped open his beer-belly to find... uh... a beer!
Bad Biker Bitch:
Former girlfriend of the Redneck and now main squeeze to GWAR lead singer Oderus
Urungus. Her claim-to-fame was bearing the offspring of her and Oderus on stage. But Oderus
being the good daddy we would think him to be, couldn't wait and ripped the baby out. Too
bad. The baby died but it did make a good snack. But on the Bitch's more recent appearances
she just complains about never getting any attention - To which Oderus responds by chopping
off her tits. She attacks with the deadly double-edged dildo.
First seen protesting a GWAR concert with other various low- lifes. But GWAR manager
Sleazy P. Martini set them straight. Bravely he walked out to confront the dangerous villains.
"Are you in show business" he asked. "Why, no we're not" the elderly woman answered.
"THEN GET THE FUCK OFF THE STAGE!!" with that (and a blast from his shotgun) he put
hole through one of the nuns. GWAR came to take care of the rest of them - decapitating them
in a manner that would make you all proud.
Slash (or an incredible simulation):
How dare that Guns-n-Roses superstar just walk on stage and start showing off to us GWAR
fans. Luckily we were spared from listening to him for too long, as Oderus ripped his face off.
The Hippy :
The first contestant on the famous gameshow "Slaughterama." He was asked the question "how
do ya hide money from a hippy?" and the correct answer was "Put it under the soap" but he was
to busy staring at the back of his hand to answer so they then blow off his dead head, hehe
Art Fag :
The second contestant on the famous gameshow "Slaughterama." He was asked the qestion
"What ever happened to Eddie Munster?" The correct answer was "I'm looking at him!" but he
was to busy painting a completely black picture that his answer wasn't in time, so GWAR gave
him a "Face Lift" and lifted it right of his face!
Nazi Skinhead :
The third contestant on the famous gameshow "Slaughterama." He was asked the qestion "Why
do nazi skinheads wear red suspenders anyway?" The correct answer was "He doesn't have to
tell you." But he didn't asnwer in time, so being the nice guys they are, GWAR noticed that the
skinhead was growing a little peach-fuzz on his head. Well we can't have that, so Oderus
decided to give him a haircut. Unfortunately, the razor slipped and cut his head off (whoops).
Melvin Squemish :
the lucky, lucky contest winner (he wins all the time). Well, GWAR always makes sure he "gets
what he fucking deserves". Looks like he wins another decapitation. Yippie.
Marilyn Manson :
He was one of the guards of a piece of the tablet, but you think that someone like him could
stop GWAR? NO! they rippedall his skin off and then made him wipe his ass with his own face,
Oderus also rapped him at one point...
Another guard of a piece of the tablet, but GWAR ripped open his belly and played jump rope
with his entails, i guess it's better then heart attack while your taking a shit right?
Yet another guard of a piece of the table, if you look at him you get drunk, he is a big, bright
neon orange elk who shoots Jagermonster out of its eyes. after a battle with him GWAR of
coarse won, as if there was any doubt.
We've all heard the GWAR song "The Horror Of Yig" and i've always wondered what yig
would look like, well he is a short fat monster with a big arm type thing coming out the top of his
head holding an eye ball, he was a guard of a piece of the tablet but GWAR stuck a sword
through his eye and that was that.
The Master :
Yes, the same master that banished GWAR to earth, after the tablet was complete they
summoned the master for and show down and man is this a big mother fucker, after a long
bloody battle GWAR of coarse won, pay backs a bitch isn't it?
The Aquabats :
I don't know how many of you took the time to download this 20 minute song/skit but it's pretty
good, for all of you that don't have the time, i'll sum it up for you, the radio station is hosting the
Ska Parade and GWAR decides to drop by, they fight with band thats on there and end up
killing them, an intern escapes and tracks down the ska band The Aquabats and talks them into
going to fight GWAR because if the story picked up there could be action figures, so The
Aquabats drop in on GWAR as they are destroying the studio and they start to argue and all
that happy stuff and they make up little songs about each other. The Aquabats win this battle
(surprisingly), they trick GWAR into saying there name backwards (which is RAWG but they
pronounce it RAW G) and uummm thats about it, lots of stuff happens in between, i mean it's
20 minutes long but i just summed it up for you, aren't I a nice guy? what you mean no??